dos.mil.dieciocho

I’ve had an incredible year.
I’ve discovered my purpose,
and I never want to let it go.
I’ve worked as a freelance writer,
and I could financially support myself
just putting one word in front of another.
I slept less, but I have worked so hard
that I could help my family
and bought me a better life:
with more time to read
to work out
to study again
and to write decent pieces
like this one.
I’m not at my prime
but I will.
I’ve promised myself that.
I’ve always wanted to write for Caracas Chronicles and I did.
I edited almost 100 Arepitas
We won a journalism prize 🙂
I worked with a man named Atahualpa
and met Mr. Wong, the Yoda of Peruvian business.
I learned a lot about marketing automation and ads
but I didn’t use it so much.
I’ve discovered that I can write whatever the fuck I want
and that’s how creative freedom feels like.
I’ve loved L. every single day.
We made it through a hard year.
Now I truly know you, love
and you know me
my dark side
my deepest fears
my morning highlights.
I cooked you empanadas
and forced you to listen to Cardi B
but you were still there when I woke up
and every time I cried
you were there
and every time I laughed
was because you sent me a meme.
We built a home.
We changed our place
without moving out.
Now we live with two roommates.
They are funny and loving,
they whine and complain,
but we love them
and we’ve survived their cat.
I lost a beloved friend,
but I recovered an adored one.
I spoke with Mariana every day.
Every day.
I did a lot of therapy,
and found some issues to work with.
Ate chicken wings with Dani,
and saw his first play.
I felt so proud of him.
I missed my nieces and nephews all the time.
But they are strong, like their mothers.
I registered a firm with a name I won’t use.
But, hey, the bank approved my first Peruvian credit card
and a second one because I’m pretty good with money.
I’ve finally known the cost of migration.
I cried
and I cried
and I cried
so fucking hard.
I felt so much pain
I resigned to my company.
I saw my father through a cell phone screen.
His voice cracked at the end of the call,
but immediately pulled himself together and said
“pa´lante, carajita.”
I’ve learned valuable lessons:
1. To not avoid conflict
2. To keep my money where I can see it
3. To not trust people when they are unable to make good decisions
This was the year of compassion.
Not to make me a martyr or a victim.
I needed compassion to understand others.
That’s all.
Now I finally know this:
I’m not interested in being good,
I’m interested in being free.

Oh, and I’ve been studying English
every day for six months.
That means
I’m disciplined
I’m an achiever
and I wrote this because I can, bitch.